At  the  tender  age  of three, me and the girl next door Elaine,

hatched  an  idea  ........    LET`S  PAINT THE FENCE. She was my

senior  by  some  seven  days  and therefore by accident of birth

gets  to  shoulder the blame (even though the idea was mine and I

provided the materials) .


The  brushes  and  paint were liberated from my Grandad`s shed...

the  colour  chosen  was  a beautiful white due to it`s wonderful

contrast  to the dirty, shabby untreated wood effect in place and

the fact it was the only pot within my grasp.


Work  began  in  strict adherence to union guidelines although it

was  never  decided whose house was to be used for teabreaks. Our

inability  to  successfully  complete  such an onerous project of

civil  engineering  left  our Neo-rustic effect fence daubed with

white  gloss  paint  (influenced mainly by post-impressionism and

Salvador Dali.)


The   sudden  arrival  of  a  near  hysterical  parent  caused  a

premature  halt  to  our  masterpiece.    She  asssured us, as she

indicated  the  puddle  of  white gloss in which we sat, that the

best  method of painting was to put the paint on the fence not on

the garden. 
A suggestion of Action Painting cut no ice.


Next  door  but  one stood Mr Winter, a sagelike spectator.
 "Why didn`t  you  call me?" pleaded Mum
"They were enjoying themselves so  much,  I didn`t like to stop them" the reply.
In later life I came  to know that Mr and Mrs Winter were very keen music and art

lovers.....    could  this  have  been  his  real  reason for not

calling our Mums ????


Despite  pleas from many of the world`s great galleries, the need

for  a  garden fence meant that this work remained in Leytonstone

and tragically was never completed.


Ralph (aka Salvador Dali) Edmunds